Two Trips to Lowes, Sixty Bucks and a dozen “Fucks”

It was leaking at the top where the water comes out. The first set of “fuck”s was when I couldn’t tell what kind of instrument was needed to loosen the handle – ’cause it’s a tiny little hole up behind the handle itself. I’m there with a flashlight, trying various size allen wrenches and screwdrivers. Sprayed some WD40 to loosen up the connection. Fuck. Now I really can’t see in there – or get the liquid out! Ya don’t wanna strip it!

Finally I google it and they tell you (what $42 part you’ll be replacing and that) it’s an allen wrench, but not what size! Trip to Lowes (actually I call it LowesTwice) number one. Hoping my man Dan in plumbing would be there. He’s not. (He’s awesome.) They don’t even know what size, but we open another box (Shane was the sales guy’s name, Geraldine), take it to the tools dept and find an allen wrench that fits. Also get some drill bits in case it needs to be drilled out.

Back to the cottage and lo and behold it works – turning the allen wrench hard with needle nose pliers. Next step is to remove a collar – by hand or with Channel Locks if necessary. It was necessary, but do you think either of the two standard size channel locks I have were big enough? No. The kept slipping off. “fuck”. Let’s try wrapping a rubber jar opener around the collar. “fuck”. Let’s see if David Alley has a bigger pair at the shop. Hmmm. Maybe this clamp thing will work. “Fuck”. Trip to LowesTwice number two for the monster-fucking-channel-locks (made in America, baby) and THOSE did the trick. Bam!

Of course the whole thing started with Mom going to church and I’m like – ah – I’ll get some reading/writing done while staying with Dad and mom’s like, “I really need to call a plumber to deal with this leak in the shower.” “Fuck”.

(Shane referred me to his man, Jeff at Gorman Plumbing on Michigan and W if the handle ends up needing to be replaced – ’cause of course Lowes doesn’t carry them.)

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